Happy 5 Years to me, thanks to US Naval Special Warfare

For my anniversary this year I got the most unusual present I think I can say anyone has received. I got a flag. A old flag with dirt in the white stars that was folded so carefully as military personnel do and placed in a plastic bag with the intention of a flag box. With it came a document. This is what it said:

I am the American Flag.

I have flown over every conflict of our nation, upon all continents and over all oceans. I fly for freedom's sake. To some I invoke tears of pride and dedication. To others I provoke fear and resentment. I know no gender, religion, or race, and accept all who seek liberty. I am raised high for a nation's hopes, and all too often laid low to blanket those who have given all they had for others. Of all the nations and all the flags, I am unique. I profoundly go where I am sent, and humbly return when freedom rings. I have witnessed the lives of generations of Americans, all so very different, who have shared a common dream: the dream of freedom. Through the worst times they have carried me on their shoulders and faced our enemies, so that the dream would not die. I ask for nothing, but many give freely. Some proudly display me for all the world to see. They look upon me, and I remind them of all that they are. I fly in honor of you, the people of my nation, the soul of my being.

I am the American Flag

For

Melinda Veylupek

This flag was flown in the face of the enemy on

17 FEBRUARY 2011

at

NAVAL SPECIAL WARFARE DETACHMENT ______.

This is by far the most special present I have ever received from James. He has given me lots of really great things. Diamonds and jewels and tons of pretty make up and perfume. But I will cherish this gift more than any other.

PS February 17th is our anniversary

Osama bin what? In your face you evil bastard.

Sorry, just had to say that. I am sorry to celebrate death and sad that I am glad he's dead, executed by our military. James and I were on vacation in Las Vegas when we got the news. We were excited. I am grateful for our expertly trained men who fight for our freedom and will kill those who are so evil and wage war on our freedoms and way of life.

Period.

My New List of Never's

We all have these. Huge lists of 'I will never...' I have to say that my list has changed significantly over the years and I think it's hilarious to remember what I used to say I would never do.
I used to say I would never:
-Let my kids go out of the house without their hair done (now it happens more than I like to admit.)
-Dress my kids in Lee jeans (this one is funny because I said that when I was like 12, now sometimes I buy clothes at Wal-Mart..gasp.)
-Marry and ARMY man (funny because I happen to love mine.)
-Use coupons (I can't even believe I used to say this, now it's my favorite thing EVER.)

This cracks me up, I was so lame. I still am, but hopefully my ideas are changing.

My new list of "never's" is:
-I never want another penny of debt ever.
-I never want two car payments ever again.
-I never want to be divorced.
-I never want to be a widow.
-I never want to be pregnant again (this may change..)
-I never want to lose touch with reality
-I never want to take my wonderful husband for granted again.

I wonder what will change with this list over the next few years.

Cute Cute Cute

I love my mom and dad.

They are great parents.

My mom is smart.

My dad is darling.

I love that he loves my girls.

I love that my girls love him.

Listen To The Still Small Voice

I will say this flat out. I received a prompting last night after a night wrought with anxiety and sadness. I listened. I'm thankful I did. That's all I want to say about what happened but I wanted to say a couple things that ran through my mind last night.
I don't know if everyone reading my blog is aware of my beliefs or shares them, but I will say that I know that our Heavenly Father sends the Holy Ghost to prompt us to do certain things at times. These can be the most subtle of feelings or an out right voice telling us to do or say something or not to do or say something. First I am so grateful that we are blessed to receive promptings. In my short 29 years of life, I have received many, some I have followed and some I am ashamed to say I have not. I don't know what would have happened had I not listened the times I did, but I sure know what I could have avoided had I listened when I did not. I learned on my mission that sometimes we are tested to build a relationship of trust with the Holy Spirit. Sometimes nothing bad will happen if we do or don't listen, but we are tested to see if we will listen in the times that it really matters most.
I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father who has blessed me and my little family so abundantly in the short time James has been gone from us. He has truly watched over us and James and protected us so much.
I pray for the humility I desperately need to listen more often. I know that I am so far from as good as I could be and I hope to be better each day.
{With great humility}

Proud To Be An American

It seems that more and more events are happening all over the world that make me more and more thankful that I am an American. My gratitude for this great country grew profoundly while I was a missionary living in Spain. I love Spain and I love everything about it. That being said, I am grateful that I was born here. I remember thinking that I would fall to my knees and kiss the American soil the minute I was back here because I loved and missed my country so much. I was so proud to be an American. It would bring tears to my eyes and pride to my heart when I saw the American flag and I thought about home. As I think back on those days, my eyes are flooded with tears again. Now my love for country is even stronger, my pride more abundant and my understanding of the sacrifices it takes to maintain this great land even deeper. Mine is such a small price to pay to live here and be free. I am grateful to my brave husband for being willing to serve our country. It's so common to say that we are grateful for the men and women who fight to protect our freedom. It's another thing to really think of what that means. To think of and truly see what life is like outside the US. Europe is in no way the same as the Middle East, and I cannot even begin to imagine what it's like to live there.

I thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can't take that away.

And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
'Casue there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

~My heart is full of gratitude~

"I Wanna Come Home"

My darling husband told me he is listening to Micheal Buble tonight. He is listening to the song "Home."

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

He told me that it fits how he feels right now and I couldn't agree more. I don't know if he knew this before now but when he was at Basic Training for the Army this album came out or I had just learned of it. I remember listening to this song thinking how true the words were in our lives at that point. We had only dated for two months before he left for Basic and I didn't date anyone while he was gone. For as long as he has been gone this time, was the same amount of time we were apart for Basic. It seems longer this time. A lot is different this time. Now I am not working 60 hours a week at an office to occupy my time with only small things to remind me of him from time to time during the day. Now I am home working 168 hours a week where EVERYTHING reminds me of him. His house, his cars, his clothes, his babies, his bed, his cologne, his everything. I see it every day and think of him 'too far from where I am.' At times it breaks my heart to think of what is actually going on. Most days I let myself smell his Polo or Banana Republic cologne and miss him for 10 minutes. That's all then I have to push it out of my mind. This is probably what most wives of military men do, if not I don't know how they get through the day.

While my love is listening to this song, thinking of us at home, I hope that he knows I am thinking of him, so far away. I long for his loving presence in our home, I miss his handsome face and ache for his strong embrace.

~I'll see you soon my Darling~